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2003-05-06 - 12:49 p.m.

I was talking with a guy I work with last night, who's turned out to be a very interesting character. Something we talked about was what attracts people to other people in the bar scene, and he says how media influences us into choosing for us what is attractive and what is not, even though that is such an individual choice. He said that the typical GQ guy will win out ever time over some nondescript regular looking guy. (I told him at this point that based on personal experience, I had to disagree with him. He said there's a few weirdos everywhere. What??)This is the background to the conversation. He said that if people just stripped everything away, what they think is attractive in the opposite sex, and go back to the purest animal form of desire, if people would stop wearing makeup and designer clothing, take off their costumes and just be themselves, everyone would find each other a lot more attractive. Because lets face it, most of the time you take someone home from a bar and wake up with them the next day, after all the costuming is off, you find out they weren't what you were looking for at all. Which of course, depends on what you were looking for... mr. right or mr. right now, etc. But even those mr. right nows usually turn out to be not at all what they were the night before.

Just an interesting observation on his part that I thought I'd record here.

I think this might be why I fell so hard for him that I met in Garmisch. Wakeing up next to someone the next day, and realizing how interesting they are and that their personality is even more attractive than their physical attributes? A rare and strange thing to have happen. Why is that?

I think 10 years were taken off my life today when I was masturbating on my couch and thought I heard the door to my apartment open. (it was the apartment next door) Not the idea of being caught masturbating, because shit, everyone does it, but because of what I was thinking about at the time. I thought, dammit! Caught! Like anyone can read my thoughts. I thought afterwards that it was interesting that I would have been fearful of being caught thinking about this person.

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