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2003-05-16 - 12:47 p.m.

Last night I went over to Sean's apartment to presumably watch the matrix but we just ended up bullshitting until about 3:30 am. Actually, that's when I left; they actually put the movie in around that time and that's when I decided I needed sleep. I found out that Sean went and watched the Matrix Reloaded already... makes me wonder why I didn't see it myself yesterday. Who was I waiting for? I don't really owe any movie allegiance to these guys. People call Sean "Egg". I have no idea why.

I've been trying to explain to Wiley why being a truly selfish human being isn't nearly as noble as he's making it out to be, and I was going to put down a few thoughts here, but I'm spent. I smoked too much hookah last night and I'm coughing a bit this morning. I'm starting to think Wiley's clueless, but still leaps ahead of most people. Even thinking about what it means to be alive is leaps ahead of most people. Ha!Like I really have any idea of what the world is all about myself... but I'm starting to be able to pick out the bullshit a little better as I get older. A truly selfish human being is just a piece of shit, from where I stand this morning.

My cat's dreaming. What nightmares do cats have? What drives them to be fearful? What concerns do they have? If we were able to really communicate with other creatures and species I think we would have such an amazing picture of what it really means to be alive. I didn't come up with that thought myself. I ripped it off from C.S. Lewis' Out of the Silent Planet.

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