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2003-05-20 - 11:42 a.m.

The Earth has stopped spinning on its axis, time has ceased to flow, candles refuse to burn, plants stop growing. Heather Sweetser is sick!

Actually it's not that bad, just a sore throat. I hate being alone when I'm sick. Some people prefer being alone to battle out their illness by themselves, but I'm more of the mind where I want someone to take care of me and tuck me in at night. I like taking care of loved ones when they're sick, too. Can I get you anything? What do you want for dinner? Need me to run to the store?

I had a pt test I was going to go to this morning, but when I woke up I felt weak and ill, and it's not worth risking failing this pt test to me since it is a record. I went back to bed for another 3 and a half hours.

Patrick brought in ice cream yesterday to work, which made me happy and I felt it was worth recording. I lent him some comics and he brought in something he had written that was along the line of the story that was in those same comics. I asked him when he had written it, and he said about a year ago he flew out to Texas to meet up with his old girlfriend. They were going to talk about a lot of unfinished business between then, and possibly get back together, but her sister unexpectedly died in a car accident and she flew out for the funeral. Patrick didn't get the chance to see her; he spent 2 weeks in Texas by himself. And after relating this to me, he handed me the essay.

Patrick's an intense character. He's small in stature, and I'm attracted to those smaller guys. When I first met him, I thought he was extremely insecure, because he laughs after everything he says. It's just a part of his personality though, and in fact, he's the most self possessed person I've met in a long time, maybe ever. A couple of things prevent me from asking him out though; one is that he's told me that he's the kind of guy who likes to romance about 10 women at once. Another is that he already has a girlfriend. Even though he's told me they have a fairly open relationship, I'm too selfish to date someone like this. Whatever happens tomorrow happens, but today it's just you and me and you'd better not be thinking about anyone else if you're going to kiss me. And the last reason is that I told myself that I wouldn't date again until September 28th. It's not worth breaking my promise to myself trying to date this guy.

I think if I hadn't made this promise, I'd try to sleep with him, because he's so intense that I think sleeping with him would be a completely new experience. When I went over to his apartment I noticed he has a lot of sexually based books too. I asked him about his copies of the Kama Sutra and we talked about it a little bit. I'm willing to bet he could open my mind sexually and teach me a new thing or two.

I'm not trying to imply that all I'd have to do is hold out my hand and he'd jump in the sack with me. Even though in my mind I pretend this is the case with all men, reality is another story, and in all likelihood I'd be rejected. It's the idea of trying to that I'm addressing, and hell, I've been rejected before, so that's not a big deal anymore. I remember the first time I was rejected and I thought, this isn't nearly as earth shattering as my imagination made this out to be. And being forward gets you laid more.

I drove Josh, Mitch, and Ashley over to some party way out in the boondocks a few nights ago. Sean (Egg) and that married gal who's name I can never remember (Lisa? some L name) (I found out later [the 26th]that her name is Linda but I'm leaving it in here as Lisa just to prove what an idiot I can be) drove in a seperate car. I asked Josh when he thought Egg was going to stop trying to get on her, and he made some sort of noncommital grunt. So later on at that party Sean comes up to me and says, "Hey why'd you ask when I'm going to stop trying to fuck (Lisa)?" And I said, "Well I didn't say exactly that, but out of curiosity, when are you?" He denied all charges. He called Mitch over and said, "Hey I haven't tried to get on her since the first day I met her, right?" And Mitch said, "You haven't?" So I wasn't alone in this assumption. Josh was the one who told Egg that I'd said something and I got a kick out of how he asked me about it instead of just wondering. Which is also why I believe him when he says he's not trying to get on (Lisa) since I think he'd be the kind of guy to gloat about it. This isn't to say that if she made a pass at him he wouldn't take it, I think. But hell, I barely know the guy.

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