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2003-05-23 - 7:56 p.m.

It's been raining and overcast for many days now. Usually when the weather is like this I love it and I think about all those gals lounging around the pool or on the beach soaking up the sun and doing nothing else. On days like this they have to go inside and THINK for a change... hahaha ya fucks, my specialty. Since I've been so ill the past week coughing up what may be pieces of a lung, bloody pieces of something at any rate, I can see the appeal to laying around in the sunshine soaking up that Vitamin D. Hell, all I'm doing is laying around inside. I've read so many books the past couple days and talked to so few people that I'd like a little variety in my laying around now, please.

I've been reading random people's diaries here at this last week, mostly clicking on the banners, but sometimes doing a pull and clicking on the names I find most attractive. It seems like a lot of people are writing in their diaries very self conscious about the idea that other people could also be reading these diaries too. PLEASE SIGN MY GUESTBOOK! they cry out with a sort of sick desperation. LIKE ME! LIKE MY DIARY! READ IT AND THINK I'M COOL! Of course I have to admit, some of these diaries are pretty damn cool, and I like the eye candy that many of them come with. All that technical javascript and html stuff I don't know the first thing about yet, and I envy them their learning. The actual meat of the diary seems a tad phony, however. Is that really what they think? Are they just writing like this to please and entrance the random diaryland reader? Why should I care about how phony it may or may not be, anyways? Just because I took the name diaryland at face value and thought to myself, oh hm well I'll write about what I did today and how I felt about it, and I don't give a shit who reads it or how many read it or how they feel about my writing style. What the hell are YOU thinking about, writing for the masses instead of for yourselves? Who cares either way?

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