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2003-07-24 - 1:52 p.m.

It's official. I'm going to have to kill myself, because I can't possibly wait another day without reading George R.R. Martin's next book. It comes out August 26th. AUGUST 26TH! I'm going to deteriorate rapidly from here until then. Re-reading his past 3 books were getting me through the anticipation of it, but this morning I finished the 3rd book (again) and now I'm at a loss what to do with myself.

Simply... explode. As poor Bumbrey did in "The Importance of Being Earnest." That line kills me. "What happened to Bumbrey?" "He simply... exploded." hahahaha Except Bumbrey didn't exist.

I'm no movie critic or affecionado by any means, and I don't pretend to be, but I find myself quoting from more obscure movies every day. What's become of me? I'm a product of the American 90s. Everything I say or do in some way relates back to media. All the best quotes and things I say come from something I've seen or read. A book, a movie, a tv show, a commercial. As I get older, I express myself more and more by describing a scene in a movie. Remember that scene in Reservoir Dogs, where Harvey Keitel is told that other dude's a cop and he starts whining and shoots the guy? That's exactly how I feel right now, thinking about how unoriginal I've become. At least most people are familiar with Reservoir Dogs.

I'm going to spend some time with Jake today. It makes me nervous. I keep picturing him showing up one day with a gun, and shooting me. I have had a terrible stomach ache for days now, ever since I drove him to the emergency room. I don't know what to do. I just wrote out a big sob story but I promptly erased it. Boo fuckin hoo, shit like this happens every day, and I'm going to get through this, just like I get through everything else. Because I'm the motherfuckin MAN. If Jake DOES show up with a gun today, I'll rassle it away from him! None of you bitches stand a chance against me! I've got the might of 1000 quotes from obscure movies backin me up! Which, as I proved in a drinking game awhile back, I fail to remember when the pressure's on. Christ.

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