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2003-08-10 - 7:11 p.m.

I was going to write about the time spent at Sara and Ken's cabin, an aunt and uncle of affluent means, but I find myself very depressed and choose to write about that instead.

I'm depressed for three reasons that I can think of:

1) I don't fit in here anymore.

2) Jon's leaving for Columbia tomorrow, and I won't see him before he leaves. Obviously. I took the relationship so for granted. And my parents, unknowing or not thinking of that situation, keep playing that new Counting Crows song where he keeps singing "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" over and over. Boo hoo.

3) It's almost that time of the month for me and I'm more sensitive than usual. I found out I wasn't going to be able to make it to a play tonight that my friends invited me to because we spent too much time at the cabin today, and I cried. Cried!

I also cried talking to Jon today. Very embarassing.

There must be something fundamentally different or wrong with me, because I don't enjoy jet skis, and I wanted to sit by myself for awhile. Too much social interaction, even though I haven't seen my cousins in a long time, not to mention my more immediate family. Why can't I enjoy these things?

Ah, I'm probably just feeling down today, and things seem more poignant. I did feel extremely out of place today. I wish Jon was here.

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