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2003-08-14 - 9:40 p.m.

I dreamed about the peace corps last night, making it two consecutive nights in a row. I can't remember enough of it now to write it down, save that there was a lot of arabic in it, and it was in the same location the last peace corps dream was in.

I just returned from a play at the Guthrie, Pride and Prejudice. I went with Sparkey, sitting in my parents' season tickets spot. They came and got other, crappier seats. They're very kind. The play was very sweet, something cute to see with a lover, and even though I had read the book, it was still new to watch. I like to pretend I'm not sentimental or romantic, but sometimes some things hit me. A story where two people hate each other, there's a big misunderstanding, but they get together in the end... a brilliant fantasy, and an excellent play to see and be amused by. If, of course, you're in the mood for Jane Austin. Theater! I love it.

Can life really work out that way? Is it possible for people fall in love and get married, and have a happily ever after? What REALLY goes on in marriages? I have my cynical moments when it comes to love, and by moments I mean 23 hours a day, but deep down inside, I still believe in it. The happily ever after of true love. Don't tell anyone! I wouldn't want to let on I actually have feelings or any drop of romanticism left in me. God forbid.

I remember the whole "love is like Santa Claus" debate. You grow up and realize it's just another Hollywood myth, a lullaby spoonfed to you by your parents. I remember thinking about that in high school and seeing some movie many years later, where they use the same analogy, and then thinking, hey! They ripped me off! When in fact I hadn't been the first person to think of it anyway. When was the last truly original thought anyone ever had? The only times I feel I'm clever is when I take random data together and create a larger and more complete picture. In the days of the information superhighway and all that crap, who can do any more. Think to yourself. One original thought. Can you do it? Can you honestly say that no one has ever thought of that before?

I really believe in love. Anything's possible.

I want somebody I can fight with. Arguing is so important. These last couple of people weren't around long enough to really have any good fights. Cody? Forget about it. Jon? I can't think of any fights. Just the one time we were in the car together driving back from Atlanta, which wasn't a fight so much as me feeling shitty.

I have a headache.

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