2003-08-23 - 10:59 p.m.
I'm extremely irritated with life right now and am feeling depressed. I'm not sure why. I feel like I've been left behind while everyone else I know was invited to this cool party.
Like I said, I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I think I have a pretty good idea.
I have a tendency to live inside of my own thoughts and ideas too much, and when other peoples' reality intrudes, it's a rude awakening. I just need to be more careful. I don't mean to give up my dreams and fantasies, all the things I think about on a daily basis, but I think I need to start reminding myself more often that that's all they are: dreams and fantasies.
I'm not flexible. I'm not a fast runner. I don't have many friends here; in fact, I have about two. It's been a long time since I've finished a painting. My apartment is a mess. People here aren't nice to me, and they're not happy to see me. I'm a procrastinater. I don't have amazing musical talents. I'm not brave. I don't take risks. I have terrible social skills. I can only hold 3 tennis balls in one hand. I sleep too much.
I don't think I'm a bad person, in fact I'm quite enamored with myself. But it would help to remember these things, and others, on occasion.