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2003-09-11 - 11:58 p.m.

I was talking to an old lover of mine online tonight, James. I haven't been with him since I was 19, and a lot's happened since then. We barely talk anymore, and to be honest, I don't think about him all that much these days. And I once thought he was the love of my life! But for some reason I've been thinking about him a little bit as of late. I think it's because I'm about to get out of the army, which has caused me to reminisce a little more than usual. So I messaged him up tonight, he sent me some pictures of him and his girlfriend [fiance!], and I told him he looked happier than I ever remember him seeing. He said he learned a strange new thing called laughter. I said, love will do that. To which he replied:

jlwstpt: i really want to respond to that last comment. regardless of the things that happened... I was in love. And the time I spent with you I cherish. I am so glad that you and I are still friends after all I did. I don't know why you forgave me, but I can't tell you how much it means... I still have a special place in my heart that is only yours. It would be so nice if one day we bought houses next to each other like we always planned. :-)

For some reason, it made me cry. Not the sad feeling of things that are lost, or depression, or any of these negative things. Maybe it's the beauty of being remembered. Or perhaps the mutual feelings we still have for each other. I have a place for him in my heart, too.


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