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2003-09-20 - 3:06 a.m.

I just got back from downtown, and even though it's 3 in the morning, I thought I'd write a little something down before what it is that I'm thinking about this evening went out of my head, to wherever it is forgotten thoughts go.

When I first got to the Metro, I saw Genevieve, Manbug (her crush), and another fellow I'd never seen before. My first thought was, where's Paula? And immediately thereafter, oh great, I get to watch G and Manbug flirt all night. After being there for about 5 minutes, I got the definete impression that both the guys were big dorks, and I wouldn't have any fun at all.

Several minutes later, I remembered why I like people like that so much. They're so unassuming and they don't give a shit about who you are or how cool you have to be. Very casual and pleasant. I had a good time talking with everyone. So this is a reminder to myself, that even though I gave them a fair chance to prove me wrong (which they did) I should probably go a step further and not make such judgements so quickly. Some judgements need to be made first hand (as I read elsewhere, this prevents you from going up to some 350 lb dude wearing a bandanna, ripped jersey, cutoffs, and carrying every concievable firearm known to man, and asking where the nearest atm is) but perhaps less harsh judgements should be made so immediately by me.

Secondly, I was talking with G about how it occurs that you once had an attraction for someone you no longer have any feelings for besides indifference, and perhaps disgust. To whit: Sean. I'd told G that I was happy that he'd never had any interest in me previously, to which she replied that in fact he did, but stepped off because of Josh. My first reaction was extreme irritation, which lasted for all of about 2 seconds, when I realized what a favor Josh did me, however inadvertantly. The fact of the matter is that Sean's a fuckin asshole and treats me with little to no respect. It doesn't matter how much of it is bullshit or not, there's little to no difference in treating someone like you have no respect for them, and actually having no respect for them. So, Josh, if you're reading this: thank you.

And now, I'm going to sleep. Perchance to dream, and hopefully so, since I haven't had a dream I've remembered in a couple of nights now.

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