2003-10-21 - 11:36 p.m.
I had an incident with a juicer today. I was making a lemon tart to bring into work today, and I couldn't find any pre-squeezed lemon juice for sale at the grocery store. So I bought a bag of lemons and thought that I'd dust off my juicer and use that for a change.
A breif history of the juicer. I paid a lot of money for it, it's a fancy electric one, and only used it once. The lemon bars I made with lemon juice I juiced with it didn't turn out well, and the the juicer itself is so fucking impossible to clean that it's not worth using when I could just squeeze a lemon with my hand and get faster results. Or at least much faster clean up time. I secretly refer to the juicer as "Heather's Folly." What a waste of money! But I decided to give it another try since I couldn't find the juice for sale in the plastic lemon shaped container.
I get home and the tart is coming along well, and I get to the part where I put the lemons in the juicer to get the lemon juice. I put a lemon in and I forgot to cover the hole where the lemons go in, and the juicer spit the lemon back up at me at full speed, right into the head. I was standing directly over the juicer. It fuckin hurt. It was one of those instances where you look around hoping that no one saw you, even though you are alone, but secretly hoping that someone did, because it must have been a very funny thing to see. I would have laughed if I hadn't been in pain.
I was distraught about the lemon in the noggin and wasn't paying attention, and skipped an important step in the tart making process. The important step is beating the cream with an electric mixer before pouring it in with everything else. I absent-mindedly poured it into the wrong bowl, the one with everything else in it instead of the empty bowl I beat cream in. (I'm talking about heavy whipping cream. Heather, for God's sake, quit thinking about sex!)I've made this tart a dozen times before, so when I tried it I could taste the difference, and thought it was gross. I brought it to work anyway, thinking people would like it, and they all claimed to. 3/4 of it is gone in any case.