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2004-02-07 - 11:32 p.m.

I have a cold. I guess waiting for the bus in sub zero temperatures and going to sleep with your hair wet will do this to you. I prefer to think of it as germs from my sick coworkers on the files they hand to me, and not from any fault of my own. In any event, I'm not going out this weekend and am just staying in, reading and playing games and drinking hot chocolate. And gurgling apple cider vinegar. Dina once told me that it was good for sore throats. I'm not sure if it actually is or if it's the placebo effect, but my throat isn't sore anymore.

Today's adventures involved icicles and old lovers.

For some obscure reason, our house is covered with icicles. Everyone else's house in the neighborhood is fine, but ours has about a million, including one mega one in the back, hovering over the garage. This thing was at least 3 feet tall and as big around as my upper arm. If it fell there was no way it could have fallen on anyone, unless it didn't break on the garage and tumbled off the garage roof onto someone standing on the deck. But if it did hit someone it probably would have killed them. So my mom got it into her head that it needed to be destroyed. We were finishing dinner and she went outside and started throwing chunks of ice at the mega-icicle. And missed every time! She couldn't have been more than 6 feet away from it. Dad and I were howling, and so was she. Eventually Dad went out there and got it down with one throw. There'll probably be another one growing there tomorrow.

I talked to James tonight, someone I was madly in love with when I was at DLI. More than 5 years ago now. Very strange to think about how long ago it was. He's in his graduating year at West Point and I've got plans to drive out and see him graduate. I haven't seen him in years, so it should be fun. We've gotten out of touch over these last years but every once in awhile we'll talk online and catch up a bit. Tonight he asked if he could call me, and I said sure. I learned it was part of his plan to try to rebuild all the bridges he's burned with past friendships. We talked about how happy I am to be out of the service, and about his girlfriend who he thinks he's going to propose to but isn't sure yet. I told him to be open and honest with his girl and everything will work out. Our major problem was that not that he ever told me anything but mislead me about his feelings so that it wouldn't hurt so much when he left. Which of course only created more problems. But we were young and still learning about relationships. It was nice hearing James's voice again. The trip down memory lane made me realize how happy I am with the way things are going with Jimmie. It also made me realize that I don't have to wait years anymore to be friends with someone who was once my lover. Thank God!!!!

I'm really starting to dig this stats feature that Diaryland has. I don't really give a shit about how many people read my diary per day, but I enjoy looking at what search words people have used that have led them to be reading this. The Diet of Wurms is a popular one, and I feel sheepish since not only did I spell it wrong, but I only wrote about it to state that I didn't know anything about it. Someone looked up ankaboot and came across me. Also "he doesn't love me like I love" which made me pause to think: is this my life? Is this what I find to write about, of all the myriad things in the world? But no, I just have the same insecurities a lot of people do. And if I can't be honest with my diary, I can't imagine I'd be honest anywhere else. Misery loves company, as Harvey Pekar proves. American Splendor is a good movie.

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