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2004-04-21 - 1:56 p.m.

It's been awhile since I've written. Perhaps I've been procrastinating the realization that I have to be somewhat secretive to live a happier lifestyle. Or maybe I just have some bitchy people for friends. I prefer to think the latter.

A lot has happened that I haven't written about so I'll attempt a quick summary here.

Jay Ar's birthday was recently, and I watched some Johnny Depp movies with her and Misty. Many years ago we had watched a different set of Johnny Depp movies for her birthday and nearly a decade later we continued the new tradition. I saw Chocolat for the first time and loved it.

We also went out to dinner to Figlio's, joined by Ahren this time, who surprised me by paying for the entire meal for all of us. He's not one of my favorite people because he seems fairly inconsiderate, but this gesture redeemed much in my eyes. I wonder if I don't look at him negatively because of his poor relationship with Dana, and as Dana's friend I feel secretly obligated to dislike him. I try to give him a fair chance, but it's entirely possible that I only notice the bad things about him.

This past weekend Jacob and I went to Madison to visit Hannah. We had a blast. There was a lot of laughing and drinking and discussion about various potential summer road trips. I find it easy to be around them. It's unfortunate that Hannah can't hang around me without thinking about Jeffy, my brother whom she dated for over 4 years. I understand why and I know it can't be helped. I'm hoping that one day we'll be friends not in my brother's shadow.

Jacob and I also saw Jason Hausback on State Street in Madison, an old acquaintance from high school. I still remember his ridiculous nick name from 7th grade: Mike Brutus Bison Jason Cecil Charlie Ken Kane Hausback, or: the Man with the Bones. This monstrosity was eventually shortened to Bison. To quote Jacob's eloquently put sentence: He seems not to have been able to remember our names, but we knew his so he made semi-nervous polite conversation before we let him escape.

Yesterday I went with Tim and Jacob to tour some condos here in Minneapolis that Jacob is a potential purchaser of. They seemed like too much money for too little space and services, but he was entranced with them. I think he's more entranced with the idea of living downtown (who wouldn't be?) and hopefully he'll be looking at more condos before making any decisions. I'm sure he will, if Tim and I have any say about it.

In other news, Cody and I exchanged a few more emails, and we are for sure never talking again, which is sad. I think he got the wrong impression from what I was trying to say, but I'm coming to the point in my life where I'm eliminating people who seem to bring me down. I don't like this plan at all, and I miss Cody. Everyone has something to offer me, and I hope vice versa. For some reason, I was unable to handle Cody's particular personal issues and the way he handled our relationship. Maybe I'll do a better job with the next Cody I meet.

Josh has set us up with some football tickets for the upcoming year already, which I'm still wating to buy, or more appropriately waiting for the check to go through so I'll have money to buy them. I'm really looking forward to the whole college scene. I hope I'm not expecting too much from myself, but I'm prepared to rise to the college challenge. My primary goal to be received from college is to learn how to deal with adversity in a charming and happier way. 2002 as previously stated was a horrible year, and I spent almost all of 2003 recovering. Any little thing that went wrong would turn me into a real bitch, because any little problem would call to mind all the bigger problems and how much they sucked, and even stubbing my toe would sink me into a deep depression.

OK, I'm exaggerating. But it would be nice to learn to be more laid back, or at least kinder to people when I start to freak out about something.

Furthermore, Jimmie's upcoming visit is something coming up that I'm looking forward to and that's going to be a lot of fun. I found out today that the horses race starting on Friday, May 14th. It could be a fun way to spend the morning! I haven't been to the racetrack in years. I'm also planning a BBQ to have on Saturday May 15th, which also happens to be Armed Forces Day, a holiday I have curiously never celebrated or even noticed until this year.

As a side note, I don't like it when people don't spell out the word BBQ. I'm not because I have no idea how to spell it and it's annoying me.

I finished just about everything I had to do around 1:00 today, and I'm just dinking around on the internet and enjoying the hell out of it. If every day was like this I'd really like this job.

It seems ridiculous that I feel I have to lock this, because it is ridiculous, but I suppose that's what comes from having nosy people who think everything is about them for "friends."

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