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2003-09-04 - 5:53 p.m.

Well, surprise! It's raining, thus the amount of daylight I had left was about 2 hours less than anticipated. This thunderstorm is quite nice, though.

Early this morning, I woke up from sleep and dream induced terrors. Most of it was a nameless fear; some of it was my unsettling due to the misunderstanding with Emily; some of it was this strange dream I had of Rick of all people. In it, he wanted me back, making up some kind of excuse as to why he had to be apart from me. I wondered if I even wanted him back, and came to the conclusion that I didn't. Although I woke up and wasn't feeling well about this or anything else, when my thoughts became more rational, I was very pleased. Someday I hope to kill off the Rick ghost completely; I won't think about him for months, and then he turns up in a dream or in a stray thought. I probably deserve this since Jake is going through the same or similar because of me. Karma. Maybe Rick is also suffering right now because of some girl, although to say I'm suffering is quite an exaggeration. All my suffering over him is long done with, at least. I hope Jake's will be too. I suffer through Jake because of my immense guilt over the situation. Fortunately I have literature and Mr. Show to distract me.

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