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2004-03-01 - 9:47 p.m.

Back in Minneapolis after a week of Georgian pleasures and disappointments. The pleasures far outweighed everything else. At one point I was sitting in a bookstore enjoying some tea, and wondering why I had hated living there so much. Then I realized that this time around, I didn't have to go to work, I could do whatever I wanted, and I had enough money to be carefree. No wonder I was enjoying myself.

Looking back now, I'm having trouble remembering some of the details. I went to a Circus and the trapeze artist made me dizzy. Jimmie tried eel for the first time. I laughed during sex out of sheer enjoyment. I ate Moroccan food in Savannah. I was immortalized.

I also missed hanging out with some important people. I didn't feel like I needed to hang out with Josh a whole lot because I'd just seen him in Ohio, I'm probably going to be his roommate in about 6 months and see him constantly, and I think we're at that point in our friendship where we don't need to spend time together to make sure we stay friends. I should have made that more clear to him though. I would have felt slighted if I were him. I missed a call from Tisha, and it would have been nice to hang out with her, if only for an hour or so. I was too shy to call Jeannie for some reason. Sometimes I feel shy about phone calls. I only really talked with Cody for one night, which surprised me, and even then I could tell that he'd rather be with someone else. But I remember how exciting new relationships can be and I don't hold it against him, especially since I like his new woman so much. It would have been nice if he had returned phone calls though. I went through a breif mourning process for the death of our relationship.

That same night, I found out my uncle killed himself and I was going to miss the funeral. Which of course put everything in perspective. Everyone has moments of weakness and I know there's been a moment or two in my life where if I had ready means, I would have been sorely tempted to commit suicide, if not actually attempted to. I'm not sure. It's unfortunate that my uncle had the means available when he was at his lowest. Right now I pray that my aunt, his wife, will get through this. She's not one of my closer aunts, but I'm thinking of maybe sending her a card or something just to let her know I care. Someone once told me that cards are just a way of rubbing it in, but I think that's a bunch of bullshit. People always like to hear that you're thinking about them, no matter what the circumstances.

It's still hard for me to believe he's dead. I think a part of me still thinks this is just someone else's fucked up life and it's not MY uncle, because I seem to be taking it quite well, all things considered. Or maybe I'm not comfortable writing about it just yet.

On to Savannah.

Jimmie and I went down to Savannah on Saturday to pick up the painting that Chuck did of me. I was nervous about it; nervous that I wouldn't like it, that it would be too much money, that Jimmie wouldn't like it, that it would be too big, that the whole thing would just suck in general. I was also excited too. Who wouldn't be, to see a nude painting done of them by an artist they admire? We took a cab from the hotel to downtown later on that evening, and the cab driver said that commissioning a painting of someone is one of the highest compliments you can pay somebody. I agree.

I should never have been nervous. It is an amazing painting. Chuck seemed loathe to part with it; he also told me it was one of the best pieces he's done. He also gave us an incredible deal on it. I feel very lucky to have met this particular artist. He's amazing. Amazing!

The only problem that manifested itself was the size. It was so large that it wouldn't fit in Jimmie's Del Sol. He came up with the idea to take the top off and stick it behind the seats. The painting stuck up a couple of feet higher than our heads. Driving back to Augusta with the top down made for an extremely chilly ride. But I think in the end it was worth it all. Not to mention I had a jacket with me, unlike Jimmie, who froze in a T-shirt.

That night in Savannah, Jimmie and I went to that piano bar that I love so much. It was packed and we weren't able to talk to the bartender that Josh and I befriended last time I was there, although Joe actually came over and chatted with us for a little while. Jimmie and I got smashed and had a great time.

The only thing that detracted from the Savannah trip was the lack of a carmel apple. I like the story of us freezing to make sure the painting got back to Augusta ok. Somehow that makes it more valuable.

I didn't cry this time when I left, although I got a little choked up when I was waiting in line to wait in line to get my baggage examined. After all, I'm seeing Jimmie again this coming weekend. He bought a ticket to Colorado for me and we're going to spend an extended weekend there. I'm looking forward to meeting his family and going to Boulder again.

So, disappointments and pleasures. But mostly pleasures. And I feel lucky.

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